Wanted: Cool Chilean Women

I have a huge bone to pick about a certain general type of woman that exists here in Chile. Now, of course I’m going to do my obligatory PC disclaimer and that is: no, not all women are the same. In fact not all Chilean women are like what I’m about to describe (or vent about) in one part of this post. I get that, I appreciate that and I respect that. In fact, I’ve met about three CHILEAN women who are pretty cool and this doesn’t include some members of my family. My point being that I UNDERSTAND that there are all kinds of people on God’s green Earth and among those people there are women that rock my world (and yours for that matter) and women who I just want to throw rocks AT.

However –

IN GENERAL, I have a huge issue with a certain type of Chilean woman. Though most of you who know me will completely understand where this issue stems from (and as a result you too might have an issue with this particular type of Chilean woman) especially if you are to use the example I’m using as I write the first half of this blog. This issue is independent from a completely other ‘non-issue’ I have with Chilean women in that I just can’t manage to meet any cool ones to be friends with. But let me do this in two parts.

First, my issue:
Let me just sum it up by saying that baby’s momma’s drama is so Whiskey Tango. Seriously. You belong on Jerry Springer with that hot mess.
There is nothing wrong with you having a little more pride in yourself, your work and what you bring to this world and there is certainly NOTHING wrong with stopping your ridiculous demands for more comfort, money, convenience and deviating from the general malaise you feel about working for your own sh*t. I know it might be news to you but you should take a look around this big, bad ass world and realize that women have made ENORMOUS strides to mark their accomplishments and further, establish their own sense of self. In short, you should be ASHAMED of yourself for putting out your hands and demanding the man support/feed you and your reason for living. Furthermore, contrary to what you like to think, you are NOT always right Ms-Bad-Example-of-a-Chilean-Woman. Though I am a huge advocate for women and mostly feel we are always right, you’ve really made me become an advocate for the man lately and it’s a bit sad for me to lose that sense of advocacy for my fellow women. What can I say? It’s a constant struggle to not become a heavy hater given all the BS you fan about your surroundings. In the simplest terms I guess what I’m trying to say here is that you are embarrassing. Furthermore you should take responsibility for the LIFE YOU CHOSE to live and the decisions you’ve made that have brought you here, to this day and time. I feel that RESPONSIBILITY AND CHOICE are two freedoms you take for granted and when things don’t go your way, Ms-Bad-Example-of-a-Chilean-Woman, you blame those around you who, really, have very little to do with your decisions in the past. So instead of holding your head high, taking some pride in yourself and your life (DECISIONS), you grovel, and you whine like a little baby and you blame the man, the man, the man. ABC and XYZ would “NEVER” have happened if only THE MAN hadn’t done this, this or that. Let me tell you something sweetheart, there’s a reason you’re where you are and it has nothing to do with the man. Again, I advise deep introspection and true consideration for the freedoms you have, that which are: Responsibility and Choice.

So that was/is my issue about a certain kind of Chilean woman (and trust me, they’re out there). Here’s my non-issue:

I have a met a very cool group of gringas here in Chile. Seriously they are very awesome (even if one of them did manage to make me like “Party in the USA” by Miley Cyrus. I’m not holding that against her.) I like them because they’re independent, strong women and I need no more evidence of that than the mere fact that they left their comfy homes back in the US to make their lives (thus far) in a completely foreign country. And I do mean that they are MAKING their lives and doing it well. They have careers, they dominate (to different extents) another language and some of them even date or are married to Chilean men. As I said, they are completely making their lives here.
However, try as I may, I can’t for the life of me make any Chilean female friends. I go through an internal battle of “Is it me? Is it them? Is it me? Is it them?” because honest to God I can’t for the life of me figure out why that is. I have my SUSPICIONS but by no means are they based on anything other than something I feel in my gut. In fact, mostly they’re a mixture between paranoia and delusion. For one thing, I think (most) Chilean women are mean first and nice later. So no matter in what manner you approach them, they give you the evil eye before you’ve even opened your mouth! That’s certainly not going to make me want to be your friend especially since the way you’re looking at me makes me think you’ve already decided you don’t want to be mine. It’s a vicious cycle.
Also I don’t think Chilean women deviate from the norm. While granted, I realize that birds of a feather stick together (hence my gravitation towards American women living here in Chile), but it seems that they are forever friends with their neighborhood, school and at most, college girlfriends, and everyone after that can just take an number. In short, there seems to be no room for one more female, especially if she’s not from around here. And in the event that you DO meet a cool Chilean woman who seems to want to be your friend, then HER friends don’t necessarily like you.
Another thing: I feel that some (maybe most but certainly not ALL) Chilean women are intimidated by non-Chilean women. It’s like they automatically feel they have to compete with the likes of us (for what? The guy they’ve been dating since they were 7?? Trust me honey I don’t want him) Just because we have lived elsewhere, studied elsewhere and/or know other cities and cultures? Whereas, I’m ALL ABOUT having friends from all over so that I can learn about their customs and ways of doing things, it seems I’m shunned for having been raised outside of Chile. [There IS an exception to this observation and that’s of Chilean women who themselves have traveled. They are way more open-minded and accepting than the non-traveling kind.]
Case in point: ask any NON-Chilean woman (American, European, other Latin) how many Chilean woman friends they have and I am almost willing to guarantee that most will state that they have no more than two really good Chilean women friends. Sometimes it’s just one. A lot of times it’s more like “Um, I have this ONE friend but she has this boyfriend so we don’t really talk all that much now.” Sometimes they studied abroad here so they have more than two and that’s a little more usual, but again, they were in college together – the final frontier for making friends no matter where you live or who you are.

In short, all across the globe there are different kinds of women. I’m sure that Ms-Bad-Example-of-a-Chilean-Woman exists in Detroit, Qatar, Paris and onward. By that token kick ass women are also everywhere. However, I JUST WANT TO FIND YOU HERE IN CHILE!! Where are you, bad ass, Chilean female? Can we be friends?? If you’re out there, email me snoochie boochies. Can’t wait to meet! ;o)

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2 thoughts on “Wanted: Cool Chilean Women

  1. Ah, this post. I feel like almost everyone I know has blogged this at some point. Honestly, I'm kind of conflicted on the issue because I've never had a really bad experience. I do feel like it's taken me longer to get to know Rodolfo's female friends than it took with the guys, and of course I've been at an asado where they're all talking amongst themselves about something I know nothing about. But I think that situation could just as easily happen in plenty of other places, and I think in general women can be less friendly to other women. I do totally know what you mean, I just hesitate to say the same since I don't have the "proof" to point to and say "this, this is what it is about Chilean women." I've also been lucky to have an awesome host sister and two former co-workers who are true friends, plus now that I do know Rodolfo's friends better some of them are pretty cool girls.

    Now that I'm thinking about it more, I feel like it's connected to the machismo of society. I've been to so many asados where the guys are all chatting it up and the girlfriends just kind of sit there quietly, as though it's not expected that they'll socialize in such an out-going way (that is not be any means always the case, but it's not uncommon). So they're not about to be all brave and talk to the new girl, whereas their men will. I really don't think it's just a case of "well the men only talk to you because they want to hit on you and the women don't because they're jealous" (any more than a woman from anywhere could be jealous to see her boyfriend totally interested in hearing about the foreign place where a new girl's from).

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