Sooooo… how’s about someone telling me how in SAM HELL people manage to 1) work, while 2) going to school and 3) having kids. Seriously today propelled me into another dimension of sleepy pants. Not sassy pants but serious comfy, flannel, sleepy pants.

Ok, so I don’t have kids BUT – I do have a dog and yes, he’s a high maintenance dog and yes, I know it’s my own damn fault. Between getting ready this morning, feeding the dog, taking the dog outside, running to class and then running to work (another mall), I’m spent. And considering all the things I had to do just to make sure Obi (my fun and lovable bulldog) was ok, I swear to you, managing a kid in the morning can’t POSSIBLY be any different.  (feel free to get back at me when I finally do have kids at some point in the future.)

On my way to class I turned into a hypochondriac. I was certain I was about to literally faint from exhaustion. After running around at home, I was of course late to class. Stressed out and annoyed, I was also feeling achy because of my standing adventure at the local mall yesterday. It was then that I was certain I felt a flood of exhaustion (because obviously exhaustion is a LIQUID and not a gas as we previously thought) travel from one side of my brain to the other. Naturally I concluded that the effect was then the cause of my heavy eyelids and I was sure that at any moment – PLOP. I’d fall asleep on the steering wheel.

Needless to say that didn’t happen – BUT – what did go on to happen was, FOR SURE, the most excruciating class ever to be taught at any post-graduate level lecture hall anywhere.  I guarantee you that there has never, not once, been a more boring, mundane and useless class taught at any university, here or at the most extreme northern point of Alaska.

After about 2.5 hours of said torture, I was sitting in class (still certain that the liquid exhaustion was going to seep up into my eyes, a crazy gray color that would alarm everyone) when I looked around at my fellow classmates and concluded that, despite our age and despite the fact that we’re all professional, executives with very decent jobs, when we’re bored in class, we take on 13 year-old behavior. In my class notebook I literally wrote the following in the top-right corner of the page: “Odd behavior of bored, post-grad university students.”

• One was playing drums with his ONE pen
• Another one was checking her Facebook page on a laptop
• Behind me, someone was doodling
• Further on down the lecture hall, one of my close friends had taken the label off her water bottle, stuck it to the desk in front of her and proceeded to peel it off and on from the desk
• Two people down from me, a classmate was answering work emails
• Rows above, someone was playing “Chopsticks” on their phone’s keypad
• In front of me, someone was setting up her Boutiques.com profile

Ok so I made up the last two observations.

The point is that today’s class was boring. The liquid exhaustion was slowly creeping up my head and, true story, I didn’t officially wake up until 10:45 am, despite the fact that I got to class at 9.

I’m considerably tired. The kind of tired where, if I was a parent and I had a kid with this kind of tired, I’d drag him to the doctor to make sure he didn’t have anemia or something.

Maybe this new strand of tired is affecting my ability to accurately and responsibly view my surroundings. After all, it was today that I decided that 1) my school’s bureaucracy is that of a fascist regime’s (why do they care if I’ve read all the chapters in our book and why do they insist on quizzing us on that? I’m 33! I’ll decide if I read or not!) 2) the Royal Wedding date announcement has, by far, been one of the most important pieces of news I’ve received in a good month and 3) it’s perfectly reasonable, and even my God-given right, to call each and every woman who says something remotely controversial about my dog, a bitch – to her face, and 4) I have some crazy liquid disease that seeps up into my eyes sometimes, causing that grayish tint you’re for sure seeing.

All of the above make absolute and perfect sense to me right now. That’s because I’m about to fall over, I’m so tired.