Today was the first day of my new job.

I have both good news and bad news so which do you want first? I’m a masochist myself so I’ll start with the bad news: I have no idea what’s going on.

The good news is that I’m the boss.

Though, upon closer inspection, I’m pretty sure that one, combined with the other, is bad news all around. Who wants a boss that has no idea which way is up? In any case, at least I don’t have my head up my ass, which I’m pretty sure is far worse than being clueless.

I realize it’s to be expected. And from what I can tell, the people I’ll be working with are are pretty solid team. This only makes me feel bad that they’re somehow getting the short end of the stick, but I’ll try to have a little more faith in myself and assume that from here until the week of December 6th, I’ll be a wicked guru with mad skills in all things *S* (codename for my new co.)

Today wasn’t a typical first day at the office. Without getting into major specifics (after all, I’d like to keep my new job pretty please), today’s work day consisted of spending an entire day at a store in the mall. The reason for this is that I can’t do my day-t0-day office job or fulfill my corporate role without first understanding the day in and day out of the mall part. I gotta tell you, it’s been a loooooong ass time since I’ve worked in a mall, or even in retail, and it’s hard on the body. My feet, hips and legs are hating life right now and that’s with thinking ahead and making sure I wore  flats on my first day! I used to work at the Gap when I was in college and since then (think well over 10 years ago) I haven’t worked with customers in a retail environment and I’ve especially never worked with customers in a Chilean retail environment. Not that it’s very different, from what I can remember. In fact, the Chilean version is fancier because I’m required to be at the fancier malls of Santiago. A fancier mall means that the customers are from a higher socio-economic background and this was quite evident earlier in the day, with Annies parading here and there in their baggy garb, high heels and stringy hair echoing their desperate need of a haircut.

But that’s not my point.

The point is that my hips hurt. This morning when I left I couldn’t even be nervous about my first day because all I could think about was how awful my outfit looked with the black flats I logically concluded I needed to wear. Those were a good idea obviously, considering the pain that comes with working in retail, but it makes for one unfashionable and UNsassy me.

Not all is bad news, of course. I learned quite a lot today. I observed, asked questions and interacted with many people. I took lots of notes and I plan to do something magnificent with them so that I can show my boss that she was right to hire me because her sneaking suspicions were correct and that yes, in fact, I am brilliant.