I know a lot of you have been wondering about a certain element in our lives – a plague, a tumor, a zit on the face of humanity …how’s it been since the wedding, you ask? Not that G shares any kind of insight on that dark side of existence but I’m happy to share something that’s becoming more and more evident as days pass:

It would seem b*tch face has a boyfriend.

Since this blog is relatively public and whatever I write can (and would) be used against me (or G) by said b*tch face, I’m going to have to leave it at that. If you know who I’m talking about and what it means for there to be a sad little man in her life right now, join me in a happy dance!

Happy, happy, joy, joy. Happy, happy, joy! Second verse, same as the first!

Oh but I do feel sorry for said sad little man, for he knows not what’s to come if he stays. Though, for our sake, I do hope she’s charming enough, for long enough, to nail him down. And I hope he’s stupid and tolerant enough to propose marriage. Don’t get me wrong, I wish them a lifetime of everlasting love but the reality is that SOMEONE’S true colors are going to come flying out. I just hope she keeps a lid on them long enough for them to make the thing LEGIT. I’m not gonna lie.

That’s my news – short, sweet and totally vague. Let’s pop some bubbly to that, mkay?

And happy dance!